Sunday, February 13, 2011

An Ordinary Sunday At Church

Okay, on the advice of a couple of my followers (AKA all of my followers), I've been taking a break from thinking about SM stuff. Since then I've been feeling a bit less jittery, though the weather refuses to improve. If I've had anymore dreams or nightmares, I can't remember them. Just been mopping around my house lately, playing video games and surfing the web.

Today though I decided to go to church, specifically the one run by the pastor who's the Anarchy Sister's guardian, Garterbelt. Now, let me let you in on a little secret about Daten: We aren't... the most religious of cities. Garter's Cathedral is the only Catholic church in the city, and there are no Mosques or Synagogues to my recollection. Despite... everything that goes on here, we're as secular a city as they get; those who do go to church on any sort of basis go to massive megachurches that are either feel-good, nondenominational affairs or... this:

To be perfectly honest, I'm not the best of Christians either, despite (or perhaps, because of) knowing several Angels personally. And when I go to the church, its rarely for religious reasons.

Anyway, Garter's church has a membership of practically none as far as I can tell, and I've been to a number of his Sunday Sermons. This occasion was no different from any other, which meant that it would be bizarre if it weren't for the fact that it fit perfectly with everything else that occurs. Garter was up at the pulpit, delivering a sermon on the Seven Deadly Sins to only me and Stocking. He intoned every word with passion and seriousness, a serious that was immediately negated by his pet dog.... thing dry humping the pulpit for the entirety of the sermon.

Stocking was there in only the most broadest definition of the term. She was sprawled out on one of the pews laying on a bunch of throw pillows, eating a platter of chocolate and strawberry drizzled beignets the entire service. To say that she zoned out would imply she was zoned in to begin with; I think she actually curled up and went to sleep towards the end.

About 15 minutes in the church was filled with grunts and moans coming from upstairs; Panty was apparently having her way with a number of men. Despite the loud sounds of coitus, Garter tried to keep the Sermon going (which, ironically enough, had just gotten to Lust), but he soon lost track of himself and the service soon degenerated into him talking about anecdotes from his life. Meanwhile, the orgasmic moans kept growing louder and they kept on going! Seriously, it went on for the entire service and was STILL going on when Garter FINALLY wrapped it up. Garter tried to rope me into a confessional, but... previous experience has taught me that isn't something I want to do. Realizing Panty probably wouldn't be available for quite sometime. I decided to call it in and head home.

So yeah, that's what a church service at Garter's church is like. Its pretty much this way every week from what I can tell. Still, its nice to get a chance to see the Anarchy Sisters when I have a legitimate to actually be there. I'll probably comeback tomorrow or the day after, its been a while since I've been there regularly.

No  Slendy sightings, though that shouldn't really be all that of a surprise. Haven't heard from Stan at all either, so I have to assume he hasn't gone back yet. At any rate, expect some more mundane entries for the next couple days like this one. But if anything comes up, I'll let you know.


  1. Bah! Do not speak lowly of my oratory skill! My sermons were ranked the Most Spiritually Inspired of all of the Archdiocese of Daten!

  2. ...But aren't you the entire Archdiocese of Daten?

  3. I am indeed glad that you were able to get some peace this weekend Brief. =]

    It's rather interesting that Daten is so secular, you think with all the ghosts and angels and demons it be the opposite. Then again, maybe all of that is the reason it's that secular, eh I don't know. Also that video, ugh, just... ugh.

    @Fr.Gaterbelt: So your Panty and Stocking's guardian. First congrats on your sermons being ranked the Most Spiritually Inspired. Sure you might compose of the entire Archdiocese of Daten, but it's still quite an achievement regardless.

    I actually wanted to ask you something though, what's it like raising the Anarchy Sisters? From what I've seen of them, that seems like a task that would require a shitload of patience if you want to keep your sanity. How do you do it?

  4. Raise? As in, have any actual authority over us?

    BWAHAHAHA.... Yeah, thats rich, that's fucking rich. Basically we just crash at his place and from time to time he nags us about shit, but thats about it.

  5. For 18th consecutive year too!

    @Panty: Hmph. You insolent bitch of an angel wouldn't last a day without my sanctified guidance.